Why Taking Accountability For Yourself Is The Truest Form Of Self-Care
Accountability has become one of the latest buzzwords in the personal development space, and for good reason! Stepping into your inner power and learning that you are actually capable of owning your own life can be a huge milestone on any personal growth journey.
But what does “self-accountability” actually mean? Why is it important and why do we often want to resist it so badly? In this article, we’ll attempt to answer all of those questions!
What does taking accountability for yourself look like?
So, first things first. What do we actually mean when we talk about “taking accountability for yourself”?
Self-accountability (or self-responsibility) is a way of life in which we decide that we are responsible for ourselves, our lives, our healing and our growth. We don’t expect others to be responsible for meeting our needs and we don’t blame them for when things in our life aren’t going to plan.
Yes, there are many negative things that can happen to us that aren’t our fault. And many of those things are incredibly cruel and unfair so it’s okay to feel like they shouldn’t have happened. Improving the external circumstances of your life can play a huge role in our personal healing journeys.
But if we truly want to step into our own power, we realize that there isn’t a soul in the world who is responsible for our own healing and growth except for ourselves. No matter what happens to us or how badly we want to outsource the responsibility for “fixing it” to those who have hurt us, we are the only ones who have the power to change our own mindset.
When we take accountability for ourselves, we become the master of our own experience. As with everything in life, this can be both incredibly rewarding and scary at the same time.
Once we’ve taken control over our own destiny in life, we get to truly reap the rewards of all of the effort we put into our healing because we know that we were the ones that made it all possible. At the same, we also have to carry the responsibility when things go wrong (which they inevitably will sometimes!). It’s a high risk/high reward kind of deal.
So taking accountability means recognizing that you can handle it all - the good, the bad, the beautiful highs and the gut-wrenching lows - and still be in control of your mindset and attitude throughout it all. Once we’ve taken back the power we’ve given to other people or circumstances to control how we feel, we liberate ourselves from any external influences and end up finding the truest form of freedom.
If this sounds overwhelming to you, don’t worry. This isn’t something that doesn’t come naturally to most of us. It can be difficult and honestly, kind of terrifying to decide that you will no longer subscribe to a victim mindset.
Why is it that we feel that way? Let’s explore!
Why can we feel so much resistance towards taking accountability?
Being afraid of taking responsibility is incredibly common. So common even that it’s been given a name - hypengyophobia.
When we take accountability for something (be that ourselves, a child, a pet or a job, etc.), what we are fundamentally doing is taking a risk. We are taking on a specific role (in our case, becoming the leader of our own life) and once we have, we have to pay the price in the moments when something goes wrong.
Many of us shy away from taking that kind of responsibility, especially for ourselves, because our own self-image makes us believe that we don’t have what it takes to successfully perform said role.
This could be for a variety of reasons:
Lack of experience with taking responsibility for things (meaning we have no first-hand experience telling us that we are capable of taking responsibility and succeeding)
Having taken responsibility for something in the past and having failed (or any sort of trauma relating to responsibility)
Perfectionistic tendencies and the fear of mistakes, failure, conflict or competition (if you grew up in a highly competitive or critical family, this one could be huge for you!)
Lack of being able to keep ourselves regulated throughout negative emotions and stressful experiences (if we can’t handle the ups and downs, we’re likely to continue outsourcing that control to others)
Being forced to take on too much responsibility at the same time which we don’t know how to handle
So what it boils down to in most cases is a lack of confidence.
For whatever reason, we have subconsciously been conditioned to believe that we can’t do it, that we aren’t capable of steering our own ship or becoming the person that fully embraces their own power.
And because we don’t think we’re capable of it, the idea of being responsible for our own life can absolutely terrify us beyond all reason. In many cases we might not be aware of it, but subconsciously we will continue to outsource the control over our lives to anyone but ourselves.
Why is it so important that we take accountability anyway?
Even though we might be afraid of taking responsibility for ourselves, it’s important to remember that the benefits far outweigh any risks that we might perceive.
Once we’ve sat down in the driver’s seat of our own life (and banned any nay-sayers to the back of the car!), we can begin to witness those benefits unfold. We might:
Develop increased self-worth and confidence in ourselves
Learn to understand that mistakes and road bumps are part of every journey have nothing to do with ourselves or our worth
Develop deeper self-awareness and self-knowledge because we are no longer running away from ourselves and our problems
Get to the root of our trauma and our triggers and develop better ways of dealing with them (and thus decreasing their impact on our daily life)
Improve our relationships with those around us because we no longer put unrealistic expectations, pressure or blame on them
Feel a deep-rooted sense of meaning and fulfillment that comes with the strive towards realizing our own untapped potential
These are just a few of the ways in which our life could be improved by learning to take accountability for ourselves. Ultimately, what it comes down to is no longer feeling weighed down and powerless because others are in control of our own fate.
Taking back responsibility means taking back our own freedom. If we want to take better care of ourselves, this is the place to start.
Want to learn more on how to start taking accountability?
If you’d like to dive deeper into the topic of self-accountability or are looking for a guiding hand to support you on your journey, our Self Care Space membership includes an entire month's worth of guided programming dedicated solely to learning how to take accountability for yourself.
The topic is broken down into four weeks and each week we’ll explore what accountability looks like for you, what has caused us to give away our power and what our life could look like if we finally took our power back!
Additionally, you’ll have access to guided shadow work meditations, regular check-ins as well as the rest of our membership features that include self-guided prompts and programs on self-love, healthy relationships, breaking free from the past and managing a healthy mindset. We also have countless guided meditations, healing visualizations as well as weekly live workshops and coaching sessions.
Do you finally want to step into your own power? Sign up to join The Self Care Space now and start your journey today!
xoxo,
The Self Care Space
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