Why Community & Connection Are Crucial For Well-Being
Have the last few years of social distancing left you feeling isolated and lonely? Or have you realized how difficult it can be to find a group of like-minded individuals once you’re an adult?
If you do feel lonely sometimes, let us tell you - you’re not alone (pun not intended!).
Even before the pandemic, research has been showing for decades now that social connectedness is decreasing at an alarming rate. With more and more people reporting that they feel a sense of loneliness and isolation, it is no surprise that we are finding ourselves in the middle of a global mental health crisis.
To help combat this, we are going to explore the relationship between social connectedness and well-being as well break down some of the most important reasons why we feel so bad when we lack that strong sense of community!
The relationship between social connection and well-being
At our core, humans are social beings who aren’t meant to live in isolation. So being cut off from social relationships and community can have a wide variety of negative effects on our mental and physical health.
In terms of physical health, studies (1) have shown that positive social relationships can help individuals maintain a healthy body mass index, control blood sugar, improve cancer survival rates, and decrease cardiovascular mortality. Some research (2) even indicates that the lack of proper social connection poses a higher risk to our health and the longevity of our life than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure.
However, the impact of our social relationships doesn’t just stop with these physical effects.
Our mental health is affected just as much (if not more!)
Individuals with a strong social circle report lower levels of depression and anxiety, have higher self-esteem and empathy for others and are more capable of trust and cooperation. They also have an easier time trying to cope with the impact of PTSD and other serious mental health issues.
As humans, it is in our nature to need community and social support. It doesn’t matter if we look back along our evolutionary development to our hunter & gatherer days or as far as the time when we were still considered primates, our species has always lived and worked together in groups.
Such a sense of community provides many different elements that are important when it comes to our mental health. The National Alliance of Mental Illness has pointed out the three most important ones which we want to explore in more detail: belonging, support and purpose.
1. Connection gives us a sense of belonging!
Human beings crave community and social connection because it satisfies our need for belonging.
As we just mentioned above, we are social creatures that long to be part of a group. Biologically, we are wired to need a group that we can identify with because coming together in a group highly increases our chances of survival. So in times when we don’t have one, our brain will notice that something is wrong!
And that fear and uncertainty of not having a place to belong can then trigger increased anxiety, depression and general emotional dysregulation. Definitely not what we want to experience!
But finding a sense of belonging in our social group shouldn’t mean that we lose ourselves and only try to fit in with others. Instead, we want to establish a healthy sense of self and make sure we are finding community settings in which we are accepted and celebrated for who we are.
For many of our The Self Care Space members, the lack of social connection stems from feeling like we’ve outgrown the spaces and communities that we used to belong to. Let us remind you that while this is definitely an unpleasant experience to have, it is not necessarily a bad one!
One of the most valuable aspects of embarking on your own healing journey is becoming more in-tune with your authentic self and exploring values and beliefs and interests that don’t stem from years of bad coping mechanisms and unresolved trauma.
During this process, you will inevitably feel disconnected from parts of your previous self and thus, lose the sense of belonging you might have felt with anyone or anything that was a part of your life during that stage.
However, instead of giving into our subconscious desire to cling on to any sense of belonging we have left, we could actually lean into the discomfort of disconnection. If we actually learn to trust the process enough to let go of the things that do not serve us and focus on finding a newer, more authentic version of ourselves - then what we will find is a more meaningful sense of belonging and acceptance that can stick with us in the long-run.
2. Connection increases the support we receive from others.
This probably seems like somewhat of a no-brainer but it’s actually quite easy to overlook how big of a role social support can play when it comes to our mental well-being.
People are stronger when they are in groups. This is why many different species group together in herds and packs in order to form a stronger unit. There is strength in numbers and having access to the strength of a group can do wonders for our outlook on life and our mental health.
Having people in your close circle that are there for you when you need them creates a profound sense of safety that acts as an emotional blanket for many different mental and physical health concerns.
When we’re alone, many of life’s challenges can seem daunting and overwhelming but as soon as we know there are people who support us (even if it’s just by lending an ear), our minds are able to feel a little bit more at ease and we can relax.
Other people won’t ever be able to make your own problems go away but never underestimate how much true and genuine support from a loved-one can make you feel like you can overcome anything.
3. Connection makes us feel like we have a role or purpose!
But it isn’t just the receiving of social support that has a positive impact on our mental health. Giving support to people in our community and close circles can have a huge positive impact on our well-being as well.
Since we’ve lived and worked together in groups, our brains have long since adapted to having to fulfill a unique role or purpose within the community. In other words, our brains need to feel like we are needed in order to function properly. By positively impacting other people’s lives, we gain a sense of purpose and meaning and that actually makes us feel really happy.
In so many cases, living a purposeless life is what causes people to feel hopelessness and despair. And in today’s isolated, success-driven environment where everyone lives their lives based on their own desire for achievement, very few people actually lead a life that strives to have a genuinely positive impact on other people.
And when we do talk about finding our sense of purpose, it is often in relation to our job or career aspirations and the contributions we want to make on a societal level. While that kind of purpose can be very motivational and important, it can be just as (if not more meaningful!) to derive our roles from a much smaller sense of community.
What role do you fulfill within your family? Who do you want to be seen as in your friend circle? Maybe you’re a really great cook and you can always be counted on to provide a comforting meal when people are in distress. Or maybe you’re a great listener and can be the one to help people talk through their problems and develop a plan to move forward.
Regardless of what role you fulfill within your community, feeling that sense of purpose reminds us that we are valuable and important and that can have a huge positive impact on our mental health.
How to start finding community and social connectedness
We’ve established how important community and connection is. But how do we actually find it?
The most important thing to remember is that a strong sense of connection has to start with a lot of self-reflections. Only by becoming aware of your authentic self can you figure out how to find authentic connection with other people. Makes sense right?
Here at The Self Care Space, one of our main missions is to give women easy and affordable access to a community of like-minded women that can help them on their journey. Our community is a safe space for anyone to share anything they are currently struggling with, to hold ourselves accountable on our healing journey, lean on others for support, create genuine connections and friendships, and ask any questions we might have.
It may not be as easy to remember these days but we are here to remind you: You are not alone, you are not a burden, and we are here for you.
Don’t already know about The Self Care Space?
Our membership is filled with self-guided prompts and programs on self-love, healthy relationships, breaking free from the past and managing a healthy mindset. We have countless guided meditations, healing visualizations as well as weekly live workshops and coaching sessions. If you want to know more or are interested in signing up, you can find out all the relevant information here.
Whichever route you choose for your personal healing journey, we just want you to know we are proud of you for showing up for yourself in the first place!
xoxo,
The Self Care Space
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