Why You Should Skip Your New Year’s Resolutions and Set Intentions Instead

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Dec 31

It’s that time of the year again. The end of the year is quickly approaching and what comes along with that? The annual pressure to sit down and plan out our New Year’s resolutions.

And every year the same thing happens - no matter how badly we want to break free of some of our old habits and conditioning, we find ourselves in a place where we struggle to align our actions with our well-intended goals and resolutions.

For many of us - this harsh approach to New Year’s resolutions only ends up breeding more guilt, pressure, anxiety and self-loathing. Not at all the vibe we want to attract for ourselves!

So what can we do instead?

Here at The Self Care Space, we like to approach personal growth goals by setting New Year’s intentions, not resolutions. And in this article, we’d like to cover everything you’ll need to know so you can set your own New Year’s intentions too!

The Difference Between New Year's Resolutions and Intentions

It might feel like resolutions and intentions are broadly the same thing but the difference between them isn’t just one of semantics.

Resolutions are generally understood as being very specific, measurable and goal-oriented. They’re usually very black and white which means that based on our performance, we’re either meeting the goal or we aren’t. And they often come along with a ton of unnecessary guilt and judgement when we don’t achieve them in the way we hoped.

For example, New Year’s resolutions might sound like …

“I will lose 5 pounds every month this year!”
“I will only eat clean, non-processed foods!”
“I will read at least 25 books!”

Intentions on the other hand are softer and more compassionate towards ourselves. An intention isn’t so much about achieving a specific outcome but rather about focusing on a specific quality that you’d like to embody along your journey. Since there is no harsh focus on achievement, they are generally seen as more flexible and less judgemental.

Compared to the resolutions we listed above, can you feel the difference in intentions that sound like …

“I will focus on becoming a healthier version of myself!”
“I will focus on nourishing and replenishing my body with what it needs!”
“I will prioritize learning new things whenever I can!”

The Benefits of Setting New Year’s Intentions

Taking an intention-based approach to your New Year’s goals this year can be a kinder and gentler way of embarking on a journey of personal development. Instead of trying to force ourselves into change at all cost, intentions can allow us to slow down and gently transition into the newer version of ourselves that our highest self might be yearning for.

For many of us, tuning into what we truly desire for ourselves without any guilt or shame can be a much more effective way of creating personal change than setting harsh deadlines, goals and challenges that often leave us feeling like a failure.

(But hey, if deadlines and goals are your thing - more power to you! We’re all different in what makes us feel inspired so if you’ve found what works for you then just keep at it.)

The danger that often comes hand in hand with goal-oriented resolutions however is that we’re only focusing on what is “wrong” with us and why we aren’t “enough” in the present moment. Often, our resolutions are predicated on the idea that we will be happier and more worthy once we reach whatever goal we’ve set for ourselves. Can you start to see how this would continue to perpetuate a narrative of lack around your sense of self-love and acceptance?

The true power of intentions stems from the fact that they come from a place of already loving and accepting ourselves the way we are now. We don’t NEED to change to become worthy, we only WANT to grow for the sake of our own well-being.

This fundamental shift in how we approach personal growth and development (in the new year or any other time of the year) can have a huge impact in how effective and successful we are in achieving that growth.

How To Set Your New Year's Intentions

First off, let’s start by saying that setting intentions is something that you can do at any time of the year, no matter what the season. Each moment of your life can be an opportunity for a fresh start. So whether you’re trying to bring about change on January 1st or June 20th - here are a few steps to guide you through the process.

1. Soften into a calm and intuitive mind space

The biggest difference between resolutions and intentions is the mindset with which you approach setting them. So the first thing to consider is softening into a calm and intuitive mind space that allows you to listen to what your “true self” has to say.

Make sure you have a quiet space where you can be undisturbed for a period of time. Maybe you’ll find that meditation, breathwork or your favorite yoga routine are key to getting you into that space. Or perhaps you’d prefer going for a run, listening to your favorite music or journaling for a while. Regardless of what it is that works for you, figuring out how to strip back some of our usual guards will allow intentions and images to enter your consciousness more easily.

2.Reflect on the various areas of your life

Once you find yourself in the right mindset, take some time to reflect on the different areas of your life the way it is now. This can include your relationships, your purpose/work, your health and well-being (physical, mental, emotional), your hobbies, your spirituality/religion, etc. Let your mind flow between these various topics and reflect on which areas might benefit from more time and effort being invested into them.

Where do you feel unbalanced? Where do you feel like you are lacking commitment? Where is there a skill that you could be missing? You can sit and think about these questions silently, write them down in a notebook or even talk about them with a loved one if that’s what comes naturally to you.

3. Turn your intuitions into intentions

After reflecting on where in your life you want to grow, grab a pen and paper and turn your intuitions into intentions. Write down what you discovered during your contemplations and shape these thoughts into clear statements about your intentions.

You can make your intentions as simple as one word such “Patience”, “Self-Respect” or “Kindness”) or form them into short statements (e.g. “I will treat my body with the respect it deserves”).

Some additional questions you can think and/or write about to flesh out your intentions:

Why are you setting this specific intention?
What does the intention feel like in your body?
What can you do to cultivate more of this feeling in the future?
How are you going to embody it in your daily life?
What would your life look like a year from now if you let your intention lead the way?

4. Take your intentions along your journey

And last but not least, once you have your intentions set it’s time to actually embark on your journey and take your intentions with you. The beautiful thing about intentions is that they are designed in a way that doesn’t require absolute perfection. They won’t make you feel lazy or judged if you fall into the pattern of old habits because it’s in their nature to let life happen and then adjust accordingly.

As you move throughout your life with intention, hopefully what you’ll find is that with continued patience and compassion, your new ways of being will weave themselves into who you are - without needing to force any drastic and sudden change.

Going on your own personal growth journey this New Years?

Regardless of where you are on your personal growth journey, here at The Self Care Space we’ve made it our mission to support you through all of its ups and downs. Our membership is filled with self-guided prompts and programs on self-love, healthy relationships, breaking free from the past and managing a healthy mindset. We have countless guided meditations, healing visualizations as well as weekly live workshops and coaching sessions.

We also have amazing advisory board members who specialize in a large variety of topics and who will be there to answer your questions in the private community or at our members-only live events. If you want to know more or are interested in signing up , you can find out all the relevant information here.

Whichever route you choose for your personal healing journey, we just want you to know we are proud of you for showing up for yourself in the first place!